Hard Lessons

You really get to know God when you become a parent. I was not so gently reminded of this after the loss of G's dog today.
Gunnar has a very realistic grip on death, so when I told him what had happened this afternoon he just wailed and wailed and wailed. It was horrible. Mostly because there was nothing that I could do to fix it or make it go away. I quickly conceded to the fact that pain is a life lesson that has to be learned and that you have to let your children feel pain, but I would go through a million drug free deliveries of Gunnar just to keep from ever having to give me such horrible news again. My heart is just breaking for Gunnar.
So while I was privately weeping over the fact that I couldn't fix his pain it occurred to me that when I'm in pain, God is weeping over it. I'm breaking his heart.
Big difference -- most of my pain is self inflicted. It's generally something that resluted from me trying to be in control of my own circumstances and not trusting God. I really have to stop doing that.
So overall, some hard lessons learned today at Casa McBean, but thank God, tomorrow His mercies are new.